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So, we are all in agreement:

There are fat girls and

There are skinny girls.

But what about the girls in between?

The ones who stare down at their thighs

and pray to god they won’t giggle 

too much when they’re walking, but

know they would never pass for Thin

The ones who settle for one scoop of ice cream when they want two

and their brains groan in agreement

until they cave and just go for it;

the guilt hits them later, aided by acid reflux

The ones with weight bulging out in one or more prominent place(s)

EX: abdominal area, ass, etc. 

The ones who are too self conscious to tell their friends

the real reason they won’t go swimming

Is not because they hate it,

but because the thought of being in a bathing suit

Makes them heavier with fear 

The ones who have second helpings in secret,

Count calories, then defy them,

Deny themselves of adjectives like

Beautiful or stunning or devine 

Cuz no one else is calling them that anyway,

Though they are “sweet” or “kind” or “talented” 

How could I be those things when all I notice is 

the way the floorboards sound like they may snap beneath me?

i’m not a fat girl 

but I will never be a skinny one either.