So, we are all in agreement:
There are fat girls and
There are skinny girls.
But what about the girls in between?
The ones who stare down at their thighs
and pray to god they won’t giggle
too much when they’re walking, but
know they would never pass for Thin
The ones who settle for one scoop of ice cream when they want two
and their brains groan in agreement
until they cave and just go for it;
the guilt hits them later, aided by acid reflux
The ones with weight bulging out in one or more prominent place(s)
EX: abdominal area, ass, etc.
The ones who are too self conscious to tell their friends
the real reason they won’t go swimming
Is not because they hate it,
but because the thought of being in a bathing suit
Makes them heavier with fear
The ones who have second helpings in secret,
Count calories, then defy them,
Deny themselves of adjectives like
Beautiful or stunning or devine
Cuz no one else is calling them that anyway,
Though they are “sweet” or “kind” or “talented”
How could I be those things when all I notice is
the way the floorboards sound like they may snap beneath me?
i’m not a fat girl
but I will never be a skinny one either.